November 2, 2009

By Vonda Skelton

Posted in: Ramblings | Christian Living | Women's Ministry | Jesus

This Isn't What I Signed Up For!

Gary and I married young, right after my high school graduation. It was during the days of Viet Nam and Gary was in the Air Force. A year and a half later, we were anticipating the birth of our first baby. As a mature nineteen-year-old who had helped raise three younger siblings, I had a keen sense of maternal instinct. And that maternal instinct told me natural childbirth was the way to go.

Now, let me say right here and now, I know natural childbirth can work. As a matter of fact, I delivered our second baby naturally with the help of Lamaze breathing and relaxation techniques. But with this first pregnancy, I'd never heard of Dr. Lamaze. I didn't practice breathing-I mean, what was there to practice? I'd been breathing all my life without anybody's help, thank you very much! So, after minimal consideration and absolutely no preparation, I announced to Gary and the world that I was going to have a natural childbirth.

I didn't know what I had signed up for.          

I'm sure there must have been books on labor and delivery way back then, but I didn't need them. My mother taught me everything I needed to know. "Now, Vonda, it's not like it is in the movies. In the movies, the woman is walking across the room when she suddenly grabs her stomach, bends over, and yells, ‘Ohhh!' Then she immediately leaves for the hospital and has the baby within an hour. But that's not how it happens. In real life, you'll feel a little twinge and wonder if it might be something. A little while later you'll feel another little twinge. At some point, they'll come closer together and you'll know it's time to let somebody know. But there's no rush. It'll be hours or days before anything really happens. I was in labor three days with you."       

My day came. I was walking across the room when I grabbed my stomach, bent over, and yelled, "Ohhh!"           

But the twinges never stopped. One pain would end, only to have another immediately follow. All I could think was, "If these are the twinges my mother talked about, and I have three days of them, I'm going to die!" My obituary would read that my first child was born motherless because I wasn't woman enough to take the twinges.

We immediately left for the hospital. It took about fifteen minutes to get there and amazingly, I was still alive when we arrived. By the time we pulled up to the emergency room entrance, natural childbirth was no longer an option. I didn't give a rip about the benefits. Instead, I was screaming. "Drugs! Give me drugs!"           

So much for maternal instinct.         

Within an hour, we had our beautiful eight-pound baby girl, Christina. And I was still alive! (I also found out I wasn't a wimp after all. My first indication that I was in labor weren't really twinges after all, they were the "get-yourself-to-the-hospital-because-this-baby's-a-comin'-any-time-now" contractions!)     

Yes, although I knew I wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world, I admit, at that moment of my first "twinge," I seriously considered reneging on my contract. After all, it wasn't what I had signed up for.           

There are times in our lives when things don't turn out as we expect. Sometimes the results are more than we could ever hope for, but other times they're less than we envisioned.          

That's when we wonder what happened. That's when we wonder if we signed up for the wrong thing.

I have the joy of hearing from brothers and sisters every week. And although their situations vary, their message is often the same. They're hurting. They love the Lord, are sold out to His purpose for their lives, but they're still suffering. This isn't the life they signed up for. The truth is that circumstances, the sins of others, and the evils of this world have seemingly taken over and are giving them a life other than the one they envisioned.

And it's not their fault.

It wasn't Paul's fault that he was beaten, thrown over the wall, and left for dead. It wasn't Stephen's fault that he was stoned to death. It wasn't Jochebed's fault that she had to give up her precious baby and place him in a dangerous river. It wasn't their fault!

And yet, because sin entered this world through the door of the deceiver, they all suffered.

And we will, too.

We'll have hard choices to make, experience undeserved trials, and watch our loved ones suffer because of the sin of others.

If you're struggling with the consequences of the sin of this world, I'm praying for you. For strength, wisdom, discernment, comfort, and the peace that can only come through the power of the Holy Spirit. And I pray you find that peace in these words of Jesus:

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Praise God that we have a future that overcomes the pain of the past . . . because He has a past that overcomes the pain of the future!

(Sunset photo courtesy of my pastor, Scott Mackey. Baby feet photo courtesy of ChristianPhotos.net)

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This Week's Winner is...

Before I announce the winner, let me just say thank you for your amazing response to Renae Brumbaugh's interview! I praise God that He allows this blog and these amazing friends to encourage and teach us all. As a matter of fact, I heard from more than one person who said after reading Renae's interview, they have started or will be starting a blog! Wow!

And now, the winner is Megan Vance! Megan, be sure to contact me with your mailing address and the book will be on its way!

And for those of you who didn't win, don't despair. You can get your own copy of Renae's books, Morning Coffee with James and The Camp Club Girls' Mystery at Discovery Lake. Just click the links and you'll be ready!

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Next Week is Kudos Week!

We want to know what God's doing in your writing and speaking life! If you've had a recent article published, received a contract, signed with an agent, started a new blog or website, or any other step in your writing/speaking journey, please contact me, along with your home state, the details of the good news, and a link, if possible. I'd love to include it in next week's kudos list. We want to celebrate what God's doing!

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And now, as we begin another week together, I hope you find comfort in these words from David, written when he was suffering at the hands of his own son.

You, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. Psalm 3:3

May your head be lifted up this week.

I pray God's blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,

Vonda

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10 Comments

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#1 Richard Mabry — http://www.rmabry.com

Vonda,
There have been so many times in my life that I thought the same thing--this wasn't what I signed up for. Fortunately, God knew better than I. But sometimes I takes a long time for His hand to be evident, and there are some areas in which I'm still waiting to see it. Thanks for the reminder that He's in control.

#2 Donna Earnhardt — http://wordwranglernc.wordpress.com/

Oh...the pains of childbirth! I remember them well. I didn't have an epidural - but I did have some pain meds. I could still feel the pain! But ya know - it was worth every tear, every scream, every single am-I-dying contraction! :)

It will be that way for us here, too. I'm so thankful for the assurance of God's sovereign power in Romans 8:28. And I'm thankful for your blogs that remind us to hold on tight to Jesus, even when things aren't quite what we signed up for.

hugs,
Donna

#3 Kimberli — http://www.carolinatownsandtrails.com

An encouraging and uplifting post. Thank you!

#4 Vanessa Ore

Thank you Vonda! I believe this is just what I needed today.
Love in Christ,
your Sister, Vanessa

#5 Angela Brown

Vonda,
You just took me down memory lane about childbirth and having a husband in the service during the Viet Nam days. Praise God for His comfort and courage during all the trying times and unexpected upsets of life. And praise God, for you and the gift that is in you to encourage, build up and refresh others. Blessings dear sister,
Angela Brown

#6 Vonda Skelton

Thank you for your kind words, dear friends! What a joy it is to travel this journey together as we encourage each other!

And yes, I'm glad those childbirth memories are just that--memories!

Love to all...

Vonda

#7 Susan Dollyhigh

Thanks, Vonda. I've been in one of those "I didn't sign up for this" times for the last few months. Thank you for your encouraging words. Blessings to you!

#8 Crystal Stoddard — http://usagikittisthoughts.blogspot.com/

Thank you so much for this, I really needed it. I have horrible insecurities and doubts - mainly about myself and my choices - I often fall back on the habit of trying to control my life instead of trusting that God has the gameplan. So even though life is tough I know I can and will endure because God is the pilot of my life and I have hope that he will guide me. I keep praying that my gift of writing is in his gameplan.

#9 Kelly Anne

Hey Vonda,

Love the walk down memory lane of childbirth.
I didn't get the twinges either. I had full blown labor (in my back).

Your encouraging words hit home for me. I have been having some questions about is this what I signed up for in a few areas. I know God has the answer and it will all work out, but I am not the most patient child. Thanks again for taking the time to share your love and friendship.

Hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving.

#10 Jewell Hall

Vonda, I have never suffered the pangs of childbirth. God knew I would velcro them to the ceiling, so he never blessed me with children, but I have so many children in my life that God did bless me with, sometimes I think I feel a pain or two. Definitely what I needed to read this morning.

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